'This country would be a happier place if more women followed her lead' WOMEN AND MEN
This country would be a happier place if mothers and fathers shared responsibility and effort.

Natalia, London, England

Real ADHD causes biochemical changes- dopamine and noradrenaline deficiencies, and possibly lower metabolic activity in the brain (like e.g. with migraines). There are other drugs, not just ritalin which help- antidepressants. Is drinking 500ml of cola to get to sleep at night due to bad parenting?

Josie Cheetham, Warwick, United Kingdom

Lots of one-to-one interaction from a loving adult is what helps develop the part of the brain that is important for reducing the likelihood of ADHD developing. Therefore nurseries aren't good for babies but women can still return to work if they get a nanny/childminder/relative as their stand-in.

Sharon Stewart, London,

We have two children one of which has Aspergers, now in his late teens, and was officially diagnosed with ADHD since he was 10 years old, after years of diagnosis and tests. Your report makes no mention of a proper diagnosis but rather your admitted failings. ADHD is NOT a cartoon it is a reality.

Nick, Edinburgh,

I'd be REALLY interested to see what the levels of ADHD are at privately funded schools with lots of sports facilities, in comparison with levels at state schools whose playing fields have long since been sold off.

Much hyperactivity may be down to poor parenting, but real ADHD is quite different.

Morag, Maidstone,

Does Ms Reid think that children were better off when they worked with their mothers in the mills, or were sent down into the coal mines with their fathers? If it's true that ADHD wasn't as common then, maybe it's because so few survived beyond 5. Give me modern times and modern medicine!

Roland, Bristol,

I work full time, as does my husband. We have a wonderful, happy, well-behaved four-year-old who has settled in well at her school, and who is at the centre of a loving extended family.

'Nuff said, really.

Sarah Slade, London , UK

Don't always blame the parents, unless for allowing their "kids" to watch some childrens' TV.

I saw a snatch of a BBC childrens'program recently which had zooming and micro-second shots from apparently multiple cameras, and near-manic antics by the presenters.

john Platt, Bournemouth, UK

The sooner that the media starts representing ADHD accurately the better. ADHD is so often confused with oppositional defiant disorder and/or conduct disorder. Just one of the many glaring errors that Melanie Reid has made in this wholly repugnant and offensive article.

Sarah, Richmond, Surrey , UK

Superb article, saying exactly what has needed to be said. Alas the "not my fault" attitude which now permiates through the almost disfunctional society we live in, does mean that parents with misbehaving kids look for excuses everywhere but than in the mirror!

Pete, St Albans, England

More detail in "Chemical Straitjackets for Childen," by Thomas Szasz.

http://www.szasz.com/iol5.html

Nicolas, Indianapolis, United States

A womens place is not at home, is is wherever she wants to be. Women shouldn't be told to be anywhere. The point is that they should be able to have the choice to do what they want. If they want to stay at home or work, that is up to them.

Sarah, Belfast, Northern Ireland,

My experience as a teacher is that if you talk to these children - it seems to be usually boys - who won't sit still and do the work, (and are said to have adhd), i.e. give them the one to one communication all children have a birthright to, but have missed from parents, they can be brilliant.

Mark Wilson, Bristol,

How many on here that have been quick to criticise ADHD have had personal experience of a child with it? I have. And, what most seem to miss is that the ADHD brain works differently - Ritalin only works on ADHD brains by slowing them down, on a "normal" brain it would work like speed...

Teresa, Northampton,

My first child was severly ADHD. When I first allowed myself to be talked into medicating my child, her handwriting improved 50% in one day. Still, I was drugging her. And the symptoms showed. I pulled her out of school in 4th grade and focused entirely on parenting this child. It worked!

Cat, grand ronde, USA

This seems very hypocritcal to me. This government is hectoring and coercing mothers to go to work when a child is three (soon to be two)

marksany, Grays, Essex

300 cheers for Melanie. This needs saying over and over again until parents start to take their responsibilities to their children seriously. As for the 'walk a mile in my shoes' comment, it's perfectly obvious from her article that Melanie did just that, which is why her insight is so valuable.

Sue, Dunfermline,

Yep it had nothing to do with the embryology bill did it now.

Cjamesk, London,

Cannot speak for Ms. Kelly's reason for cutting back. But the article touch a point that most parents want packaged kids like packaged consumer goods. Parents are so involved in providing for material living that they forgot emotional, physical and spiritual connection. What is more important?

Naleen Lal, Northern California,

Excellent article. Nuff said.

Paula Hill, Montreux, Switzerland

We know a puppy who was separated from its mother when it broke its leg. Later it showed strong signs of aggressive and antisiocial behaviour. If you know about birth and bonding, the mother is irreplaceable in the first 3 years. Mums and Dads play a complimentary and equally important role

M Sparkes, Chippenham, Wiltshire

In this day and age it never fails to amaze me that such archaic views can be considered acceptable... perhaps the old adage of "Walk a mile in my shoes" should be brought to mind before people are so keen to make judgements on subjects about which they clearly have little knowledge.

Nicki, Southport, UK

Agree with Stephanie. Chauvenistic rubbish and very infuriating.

Mary, Bucks ,

ADHD. Give them a slap and say that word NO.
Cured in days. No tablets,no doctors,no health workers,no problem.

Geoff, Bury, England

She only decided on this when she knew she was going to get the sack. She's just another politician looking out for number one.

Frederick, London, UK

Once again we seem to forget that it takes two to create a child. Why are only working mothers lamblasted in this manner. I guess father's are allowed to 'have it all' without thinking about the children or their partner.

To be frank this is chauvinistic drivel.

Stephanie Tohill, London, UK

Totally agree on parenting, totally disagree on ADHD. Our son, with very committed mother (and father) was devastated at school by ADHD – 10 years of hard work, INCLUDING ritalin, pulled him through. If your child struggles despite all your efforts don't be undermined by this article! Get help!

John Davy, Kunming, China

ADHD - Absent Dad from Home Disorder.

1 in 3 children from poorer backgrounds have little or no relationship with their fathers.
1 in 4 of all children.

Govts answer is to pump the kids full of Ritalin to keep them docile when the 'real' problem is poor parenting.

Jeff, Woking,

People now become parents later which would make ADHD more of a problem - if you are in your 20s, when nature designed you to have small children, you can cope better than if you are in your 40s.
That's another consequence of our stupidly high house prices.

Dave, Slough,

When women will go out, be the breadwinner and enable the father to stay at home with the kid(s) then we will have a more equal society.

Kids need families - that means both parents. Women cannot have it all by themselves, it's too much. Give dads the chance and we'll jump at it!

Matt, UK,

She had to say that or Gordon would have made public her expense account ...

H E Torrance, London, England

Eleven years immersed in politics, then two weeks before a cabinet reshuffle she decides that she needs to spend more time with her family?

Tom Mein, Chorafakia, Crete

I see Melanie Reid assumes that ADHD kids are unhappy. This is far from the truth. We brought our sons up the same and the difference in them was obvious from very early years. Drugs can and do help. Especially when it comes to school. There is no way he is unhappy though. More anxious.

Paul, Perth, Australia

because looking after children is not considered to be 'work'!!!!
Being at home and running a household with children in it is not 'work - women have to put children into creches/preschool classes and go out to 'work'!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enough said!

jill piercey, High Wycombe , England

Apart from the remarks about Ruth Kelly (you don't really believe her, do you?), I agree.

Even when mothers are not working, you see them depriving their children of attention (that's the real meaning of attention deficit), chatting on their mobiles in the street while dragging a child around.

David Short, London, UK

Romans had a clear code of piety: duty to the gods, then to the state, then to the family. I wonder how we would codify present piety? Ruth Kelly seems keen on her duty to me me me. If she believes she is any good at her job she should stay where she is. If ... run out of characters :-(

John Ledbury, Kings Lynn, England

Four children 11 and under , while she's been in politics for 10 years and you say she's got her priorities right only now ? What a joke ! Too conveniently timed to be taken as a serious excuse and why weren't her kids important enough before ?

Benzo, Nr Chelmsford,

Reasons 4 flawed modern parenting: 1. Simply 2 stay middle class today, family has 2 have a double income; 2. Full time motherhood's hugely under-rated-seen as a sign of professional & intellectual failure; 3. "Good family" kids born to: upper class career crazy parents w/h 0 time 2 bring them up

Vickie, TA,

How noble of Ruth Kelly to give up her cabinet role.. I am sure it is co-incidence that all of her children are at, or reaching school age, and her career is effectively down the toilet.

I would opine that the last ten years would have been the time her children needed her most.

Nervous, Sussex, UK

Has anybody looked into any potential correlation between children's decreasing participation in organised games/sports and the massive increase of ADHD diagnoses?

There's some evidence for the existence of ADHD as a mental disorder; but surely not at the current rate of prevalence?

Rachel B, Nice, France

Mike Lewis - why do men??? Children need one, at-home parent, full time before age 5, and then working only part time until secondary school age. That parent can be either the father OR the mother. The sooner we as a society recognise this and support it properly, the better, for all of us.

Claire James, Ruislip, Middlesex

Am I alone in believing that if we haven't been diagnosing ADHD, it's been there all the time, and if so, why is it so special now after two million years of evolution? It's just something that we adults have to adjust to, not treat the child for, as the article says.

John, Knutsford, UK

The words rats, sinking ship and abandoning come to mind.
'Leaving for family reasons' is an overly used euphemism these days
Family didn't seem to rate very highly when the Labour government was riding high in the polls.
Sorry for the cynicism but we are talking about a politician here.

Jeff Hyman, Peyia, Cyprus

"This country would be a happier place if more women followed her lead."

Surely a typo - for 'women', read 'parents'. Or can fathers be as absent as they like?

Susan Jones, London, UK

I understand that the writer is drawing on her own experiences, but why are we assuming that women staying at home is the only answer, rather than both parents taking more interest

linda, london,

Wouldn't it be better if PARENTS took more responsibility for THEIR children, and the responsbility wasn't only the mother's? Children usually have two parents, so why can't fathers' share the responsibility? Why should only mothers stay at home?

Sarah, Brighton,

While you are right that much of the hyperactivity can be dealt with through good parenting, there is much more to Attention Deficit Disorder than the Hyperactivity. Those who think that parenting will fix this do not have true ADD children. I know what it is like as I have ADD myself. Nightmare!

Joyce, Warwickshire, UK

Remove the snidiness and stigma from childlessness. Ensure only people who really want children (with all that means) have them. Ensure one parent (doesn't matter which) is always there for them. Result - happy kids, functional society. The expectation that everyone should have kids is damaging.

Lyn, Birmingham, UK

Work and home can be balanced - most women don't have the all consuming job of Ruth Kelly. A greater acceptance by business of part time and flexible working would help families AND businesses by sharing parenting between mum and dad, and by keeping workers with skills/experience in the workplace

Dave, London,

Billy Whizz did not have ADHD, a made up illness meant to
sell Ritalin. He suffered from food sensitivity. Search the
internet for "+Doris+Rapp+MD"

John Newell, NYC, NY USA

John Newell, NYC, NY, USA

How reductive. Children "born of woman" tend to have another parent too. You refer all the way through your piece to "parents", then dump final responsibility for ADHD and marital breakdown entirely on women. A Y chromosome doesn't preclude a person from looking after children he too chose to have.

DS, London, UK

Why has it taken her 11 years to decide this ?

Martin Briggs, Heversham, England

No mention here of a Schools inability to cope with 'Billy Whiz' ? My son is on 'Kiddy-coke' purely and simply because without it he would have been permanently excluded a long time ago. I think with a little more research you will discover that problems generally start when school starts.

T. Maylor, Accrington, Lancashire

So this is a CLEAR admission that there is NO glass ceiling unless you choose it to be there. She's proved you can be a working mother AND gain a top job and stay as long as you wish to.
Why on earth though are men still not treated equally?

PK, UK,

Please don't confuse poor parenting with the problems associated with ADHD. This country is far enough behind in diagnosing and treating ADHD as it is. The increase in diagnosis in the last five years is more likely to be because the NHS is at long last recognising it for what it is.

Richard , Guildford, UK

We had gone from a big rural house to a smaller house in a town. It rained steadily for the first month, and my 3 yr old twin boys were almost bouncing off the walls when the Health Visitor arrived and instantly diagnosed hyperactivity. No, it wasn't ADHD - just frustrated, normal, healthy energy!

Gill, Southampton, UK

You're right children and families should come first much more than they do, but not all mothers work for fulfillment and luxuries. They work because they are often single after a relationship breakdown or because only two incomes will cover the mortage. Many women cannot afford Ruth Kelly's choice.

Sheila, Leicester,

In some places ADHD also gives you extra time for exams. So a diagnosis is well worth having.

Jane Dinham, Oxford,

Wonderful article! If only all mothers thought that way, from before their children were born, this world would be a better place and wouldn't have most of the issues we have today! If that is Kelly's real reason then she is the first politician [or ex-] I have any respect for!

Jonathan Sklan-Willis, Manchester, England

Why oh why do women take any responsible job when children come first?

Mike Lewis, Cotswolds, UK