Simon Crerar
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"Normally when you see a black man or a woman president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty."
"Tonight we look beyond the dark days to focus on happier fare - this year's slate of Oscar-nominated psychopathic killer movies. Does this town need a hug? No Country For Old Men, Sweeney Todd,There Will Be Blood. All I can say is: thank God for teen pregnancy."
"There are three pregnant ladies with us tonight. Jessica Alba. Cate Blanchett. Nicole Kidman. And the baby goes to.... Angelina Jolie. I'm stunned. Angelina couldn't be with us tonight, it's tough to get 17 babysitters on Oscar night."
"Whoever owns the Boeing 707 parked on La Brea Avenue, your landing lights are on [John Travolta runs on stage and rushes for the door]. "Don't worry, it's a hybrid".
"Away From Her is about a woman who forgets about her husband. Hillary Clinton called it the feelgood movie of the year."
"You know another way they could show respect for the writers? Maybe one day invite some of them to the Vanity Fair Oscar party. Don't worry. They won't mingle."
"Cate Blanchett is the woman who can't be stopped. She played Elizabeth. She played Bob Dylan. In No Country for Old Men she played the pitbull chasing Josh Brolin. Cate Blanchett, she is amazing. Right now, I Jon Stewart, am being played by Cate Blanchett."
"Oscar's 80th birthday automatically makes him the frontrunner for the Republican nomination."
"These past three and a half months have been very tough. The town has been torn apart by a writer's strike. The fight is over, so tonight... welcome to the make-up sex."
"Our next presenter speaks four languages, and earlier in the evening she taught me 'I'm calling security', in all of them. Please welcome Penelope Cruz."
"In case you're wondering what we do during the ad breaks. Mostly, we sit around and make catty remarks about what you're wearing at home."
"There was a small technical glitch, so we're going to have to restart the show."
"Our next presenter is either a Hollywood movie star, or an auto dealership, ladies and gentlemen Harrison Ford"
"Here's a brief taste of what your four hour writer-less Oscars would look like. Please enjoy Oscar's salute to binoculars and telescopes"
"According to the IMDb our next presenter is the star of the 2010 untitled Nicole Kidman project. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Nicole Kidman."
"Before we spend the next four to five hours giving each other golden statues, let's take a moment to congratulate ourselves."
"To really appreciate [Lawrence of Arabia] you have to see it in widescreen." (while watching the movie on a mobile phone).
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Yes that was a lovely moment when John Stewart had Marketa Irglova back to say her thanks.
Anne W, Alexandria, VA
"And I am assuming you can sing.
Randy Ratliff, Kansas City, MO, USA"
I was amazed how many American commentators on the Oscars showed they didn't know that she mimed to Edith Piaf's voice.
Right down to the fact that she was asked to sing a couple of lines in the post-award press conference. She did, and sang ok, but looked embarrassed.
She didn't sing a word in the movie.
She didn't do what Joaquim Phoenix did in Walk the Line.
I'm not saying she didn't deserve the Oscar, but I do think a little extra credit was given through a misunderstanding.
bob, brighton, UK
Randy, then I guess trying to interpret Audie Murphy's work in "To Hell and Back" would just about make your head explode.
C, Kihei, HI
"Mostly, we sit around and make catty remarks about what you're wearing at home. it works both ways, people!"
Jesss, London,
Suzy, not to scold, but acting is not "impersonation," not even when the character is based on an historical figure. As you suggest, costume and makeup contribute substantially to the storytelling, as do production design, cinematography, and the large number of disciplines that do, in fact, have their own Oscar categories.
Actors contribute to this rich mix, not mimicry, but emotional truth, behavior the audience not only accepts as authentic, but experiences more deeply than mere observation. The actors are the door through which we enter a narrative to experience it as our own, as emotionally real as any other experience we have
You may prove your error. Hire costume and makeup professionals to dress and paint you to look like Edith Piaf. Have your friends videotape your rendition of "La Vie En Rose." Now, compare your impersonation to Marion Cotillard's performance. I believe you will see enough of a difference to justify M Cotillard's statuette.
And I am assuming you can sing.
Randy Ratliff, Kansas City, MO, USA
Periscopes, not telescopes.
Misha, Chisinau, Moldova
Oscar Night organizers have chosen the best person for the show.That is Jon Stewart
Rayan, Plantation,Florida, USA
So here's the thing - the oscar is always going to go to someone who most cleverly impersonates a real person (living or dead) shouldn't that Oscar go to make up and costume??? or at the very least there should be a separate award for Best Impersonation. Its not so difficult to copy someones mannerisms as it is to interpret and embody words on a page and bring them to life.....
Suzy Robinson, Repulse Bay, Hong Kong
Jon Stewart. The funniest man in the room and a gentleman to boot. He had Marketa Irglova (winner for best song with Glen Hansard) return to the stage after the orchestra stopped her from speaking and let her have her moment.
Mr Stewart, I salute you.
Caroline, Wexford, Ireland
"You have to give Barack Obama credit, heâs overcome a great deal. Not just heâs an African-American. Barack Hussein Obama is his name. His middle name is the last name of Iraqâs former tyrant. His last name rhymes with Osama. Thatâs not easy to overcome. I think we all remember the ill fated 1944 presidential campaign of Gaydolf Titler. Itâs just a shame, Titler had so many good ideas. We just couldnât get past the name. And the moustache."
Jon Stewartfan, New York,
A good dose of wit and sense of humour is trefreshing here at of the Oscars. Has anybody noticed the total absence of wit from the French Cesars, or the Cannes film festival, and the others rendez-vous on the festival circuit?
Jon Stewart : good job.
Nathan Halevy
Los Angeles
Nathan Halevy, Los Angeles, United States
The Daily Show is great satire. I think is has some of the best writers around at the moment and JS is a legend.
Oliver James, London, UK
Thank God for a true wit!
leila , manchester, uk
i watched the oscar night it was nice and the winer deserved to win espacily Daniel Lewis to win in best actor .
thanks
Mayyadah
Mayyadah , Amman, Jordan